I’ve finally slipped back into that horrible sinking feeling of depression I thought I had escaped all those months ago before this new year had started. I’ve tried so hard to fight it and get rid of it and I did for a long time but now it’s back. I’ve gone back to having all that anxiety at the wrong moments, not talking to anyone or even going out anymore. I can’t even walk through the hallways at school without trying not to escape someone’s gaze or just running away from the next person who tries to talk to me. The more I get through this year the more scared I get and more physically sick and tired I’ve become, and the more I start to slowly dislike everything and everyone around me again, my biggest fear is that happening again and school really really is not helping me. I don’t fit in here and I don’t even think anyone likes me, I try so hard to be nice and I try even harder to make sure I help everyone around me if it’s needed but I just don’t know if I can anymore and I don’t even know if I want to. I’m never going to escape this. And I’m writing this because I don’t even know how long I am going to have until my next breakdown but I hope it won’t kill me, I cannot go back to that but something tells me I will. I’m scared. I’m fucking scared and I’m frightened and I’m alone and I have no idea what I am going to do because I cannot stop crying or over thinking any of this I don’t know how to stop. I am acting so weak and the feeling is intolerable because I KNOW I am never this weak but I’m so ready to be done, I’m so ready to give up and I’m so ready to just take it lying down obediently because surely trying to feel better shouldn’t be this painful or fucking self destructive. The only thing I feel lucky about is still waking up. I know I am statistically 75% luckier than most people in the world but I just don’t care, I don’t give a fucking shit I am sick and tired. I don’t want anyone to come near me because I know I’d just make them feel worse and destroy them in return. I hate myself so much and I hate that people see the good in me because there is no good in me I am fucking heartless and selfish, and so is everyone else. I give myself to everyone not because it’s the right thing to do because it’s what I WANT to do. And not once have I ever gotten anything in return. If this is what you get for loving someone or caring then I’d rather be dead. And then people look at you or think, what have you even gone through to feel this way, hardly anything probably, just fishing for attention. You don’t even have a fucking clue. You have NO fucking idea.
god forbid a real person do real person things he wasnt just a robot who killed people jesus fucking christ
uh yeah its not like he killed and tortured six million jews or anything
Hold on just a tick. Listen, I’m Jewish, so I’m perfectly capable of understanding that what he did was just…..well, there are no words for it. But let’s not round it up to simply Jews that got killed. It was six million people that died in those camps, not just Jews. Did you know that homosexuals were sent there, too? Yeah, I’m sure you did. They had to wear special little symbols on their clothes. Do you know what it was? It was a pink triangle.
It was six million PEOPLE.
But you let that roll over in your mind for a while and you are going to forever see this man as a monster, but that’s not what he was. He was someone who thought he was truly doing something right for his nation, no matter how shitty he was doing it. Believe me when I say that I don’t like him. I really don’t. My grandfather’s brothers died in those camps, and my grandfather escaped to Spain, then to Mexico. He was lucky.
This is not a monster holding hands with a little girl.
This is Adolf Hitler, a man, holding hands with a little girl.
Yeah. It’s fucking scary. It really is. Do you know why?
It’s because you’re seeing that he wasn’t, in fact, a monster. You’re seeing in this picture that he was a man. He was a man, and that’s really the saddest part of it all.
As a History major who specializes in the history of early modern Europe, I’ve studied a lot of dictators in detail, not just Hitler. The number one mistake anyone could ever make in history is making the assumption that only inhuman monsters are capable of doing terrible things.
Stop dehumanizing Hitler just so you can reassure yourself that “normal” humans aren’t capable of doing bad things. Hitler liked children and dogs, he was a vegetarian and he cried like a little boy when his mother died. I’m not saying he was a good, innocent person, but when you stop attributing human characteristics to historical figures like Hitler, it’s how you overlook people just like him in real life, and it’s how people like him end up back in power.
That’s the real truth: Human Beings are scarier than any ‘monsters’ out there because we’re all born blank slates and BECOME our legacy.